Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: When Olivia saved Kathleen from prison, Elliot realizes just how important she is to him. WARNING: extreme E/O shipping.


_**A/N: I was watching the new SVU and realized how sucky it is without Elliot, so when the bonus episode aired afterwards, and centred on Elliot's daughter, Kathleen and his mother, played by the wonderful actress, Ellen Burstyn, my muse and I made up (we were currently on a break – you know, the Ross and Rachel kind – very complicated)… and created this little piece for you. I hope you like it. =) **_

_**A/N 2: Full E/O shipping. I say this because, people tend to have a dig about the way that Kathy and Elliot are made for each other, despite the fact that they opened an E/O romance… I mean, come on! A line has to be drawn somewhere… so if you like Kathy and El together, and intend on bitching about it, then bugger off… write a Kathy/Elliot story and stay away from E/O shipping. **_

_**To those who are E/O lovers… this one is for you!**_

Elliot went home later that night, thinking about what Olivia had said. _Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot_. He lay awake for a long time trying to understand why she had said it and what it had meant. The only time he had ever been a carrot was in a school play, and he was only seven. How could she possibly know that, when they'd never met?

Then it clicked – his mother.

His mother had told Olivia, _showed_ her the picture of him from his school play. Elliot remembered a few times in his life, when his mother hadn't been unpredictable, but it took effort to recall them. He didn't like to dwell on the past. It was a dark place.

It occurred to Elliot that Olivia had gone out of her way to convince his mother to talk to the judge. He had failed, and Olivia had stepped up to the plate, trying to save his daughter, Kathleen. And she had succeeded. Olivia was a God-sent.

Kathy rolled over. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, sleepily.

Elliot sighed. "I didn't know you were awake."

"You're breathing heavily," she said. "I can never sleep when you do that."

"Sorry," he apologized.

"What's wrong, Elliot? I thought you'd sleep like a baby. Kathleen is okay," she reminded him.

"I know," he whispered. Why did he keep picturing Olivia's face when he lay next to his beautiful wife? Why was it Olivia that found a way to make things better? Why was it that she made him happier than his own wife, and she didn't even have to put any effort into it?

"Olivia saved our daughter," she said quietly.

"Yeah," he agreed. "She did."

Kathy sat up in the bed and switched on the night light. "We have to talk," she said, in that way that made him cringe. It was obvious that he was in for another lecture, about how bad of a husband he was, and how he always put Olivia first, which if he was honest, wasn't so far from the truth.

Elliot inwardly sighed.

"I have a right to be jealous of Olivia," she said firmly. "She gives you what I can't. She makes an effort to give you what you need, she knows what you need, and I don't. I've tried for years Elliot. I love you. I've always loved you. And I know we keep giving this a shot, and we're good together… when we are together. But most of the time you're with her."

"Can we not do this," he begged. He didn't want to hear it.

"I've been thinking about the last few months. Eli was a miracle, and I'm not sorry that we had him, and I'll never be sorry for that."

"Me either," he assured her, sitting in an upright position. "I'll never be sorry that any of my kids were born."

"I won't either. But we have to be realistic, Elliot. I have tried for years to be the wife that you want, and I know that over time I have lost who I am. I'm not the same woman you fell in love with, and I know you're not the same man. I know that you shut me out in an effort to protect me, I know it came from a good place. But the truth is we grew apart, and it happens," her voice croaked, and Elliot was a little nervous about what she was going to say next. "I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to yell at you to want to be with me instead of that job. I understand how much it means it to you, and I wish I could support that but I just can't. Olivia can. She gets it, and I know you feel something for her, whatever it is, you should explore it. You deserve to be happy, Elliot… and so do I. It's just such a shame that we can't be happy together. But don't you think we've wasted too many years trying to find the balance between us? We can't make it work. We've tried."

Elliot said nothing. He agreed with it all. They'd both tried, Kathy more than he, truthfully. He felt sick. His whole life, he had always been with Kathy. How could he walk away now?

"It's the only thing left to do," she said, reading his thoughts.

Elliot looked at her and nodded. "I know."

"I'll tell the kids it was my idea," she offered. "They won't be surprised. I know they keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." She took his hand. "You'll always be the love of my life. I'll always love you."

"Me, too."

They hugged each other, embracing for a long time, before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

***E/O***

Elliot chose not to say anything at work. It would only complicate things. But when they'd finished the case, and were dismissed at ten o'clock, two nights after he'd left home, Elliot asked Olivia if she'd like to get a drink with him.

"No, I'm fine, El. You go home to your wife," she smiled.

"I want to get a drink," he insisted. "Will you come with me?"

"Yeah," she accepted, seeing the look on his face. "Of course."

Elliot didn't say anything until the two were comfortably seated at the bar of their favourite hang-out. He cleared his throat, feeling his palms were sweaty. He hadn't felt this way since high school. "Kathy and I broke up."

"I'm sorry," she said, impassively. "I'm sure you'll work it out. You always do."

"It's different this time," he told her, sternly. "We talked it out as friends, and realized that we were just making the same mistakes and both of us were unhappy. She brought something to my attention," he said.

"Oh, yeah," she said, listening intently, as she always did, to what he said.

"She's always had this idea that you and me were…" he smiled.

"That's ridiculous," she laughed.

Elliot's face turned serious. "Is it?"

Olivia snapped her head up and looked at him. "El… what are you- what… what are you trying to say?" she stammered. Her face drained of colour, and he knew he had backed her into a corner, but he was desperate to know where she was with him. Their entire partnership, he had tried to convince himself that he wasn't attracted to her, but every outsider could see that it was lie. Surely, Olivia felt the connection that they never talked about. Surely, she had to know how deep his feelings ran.

"I'm trying to be honest," he stated matter-of-factly, seeing her the way that everyone else did, looking at her for the first time as a woman, a could-be lover or wife, rather than his long-term work partner.

"How's that?" she questioned, studying her hands, nervously.

"You have to meet me halfway, Liv," he sighed, running a hand over his balding head. "You have to be honest, too. Look at me!" he urged.

Slowly, she looked up. "You and Kathy are…"

"Are over," he assured her. "We aren't going to get back together, no matter what does or doesn't happen between us. We can't make each other happy, Liv, we've tried. She knows that I care about you too much, and I know that she's right."

"You are the only man in my life, El," she told him. "How could I risk losing that for something we don't know will work out?" she questioned.

She looked as terrified as he felt. He reached for her hand, across the bar, his heart beating wildly in his chest. "I won't let anything happen to us. We've lasted more than eleven years together, doing work that most people can't hack for more than two years… look at us, Liv. We're unbreakable. Don't you ever think about what it could be like?" he said.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Complicated."

"Why?"

"Because we both work here," she sighed. "Because one of us would have to leave, because I don't want to ever lose you, and I can't. Do you understand that. I _can't_ lose you." Olivia had tears in her eyes.

He tightened his grip around her hand and smiled at her, the way that he had only dreamt about. It was her face that haunted his dreams, it was her touch that he felt whenever he and Kathy made love. It had been Olivia Benson for ten years. Since the moment they'd met. What was he waiting for? Life was short, he knew that more than anyone.

"You won't lose me," he promised. "I won't ever walk away from you, and if you walk away from me, I will follow you. I have some experience in detective work… in case you think you can hide from me," he teased. "And I'm good at my job."

Olivia squeezed his hand, grinning at him. "I'm dreaming, right?"

"If you are, then don't wake up before this," he whispered, and leaned over the bar stool, meeting his lips with hers in an explosive all-powerful kiss, the tips of his fingers looping around her chocolate-brown hair. She smelt like peaches and vanilla.

She responded to his kiss, by parting her lips to deepen it, her hands snaking about his neck, and pulling him so close that he fell off the stool and stumbled closer to her, slipping his arms around her waist. He couldn't wait to get her home. He couldn't wait to make love to her.

"What about work?" she asked, frightfully, leisurely pulling away.

"We'll figure it out," he said, shaking his head, surprised at himself for the corny way the words came out of his mouth. Oh, to hell with it. He'd waited long enough for her, why pretend that he was as tough as Olivia knew he wasn't. That was the thing with Olivia – he never had to pretend. She knew him inside out, and back the front, and she called him on his shit. "It doesn't matter. It matters that you and me have each other, and the rest we can cross when we come to it."

"Okay," she nodded, completely at his mercy. This time it was she, who leaned over and gracefully touched her finger to his lips before kissing him again.

_**Since my muse and I are friends again, for the time being at least (we're still trying to figure out which one of us is Rachel), we also concocted an idea about the new episodes and how both Elliot and Olivia are dealing without each other… Olivia is invited for dinner by Kathy… anyone interested? I haven't written it yet, so if you're up for the read, let me know… =)**_


End file.
